November
Brother Patrick Thatch, November 26, 1999
This morning I had camera in had as we again cruised down Macarthur. The film was loaded and our eyes were peeled. Again, the lair was empty. Tonto and Cabbage Patch had moved on. It was a disappointing scene, but we accept the future challenges. Keep your heads up brothers...word to TACPALS!
Brother Patrick Thatch, November 23, 1999
Brothers...on the morning of Wednesday November 24, Brother Sullivan and myself made the first attempt at hands on contact. Armed with handfuls of TBC breakfast goodies, we set out on our journey down Macarthur Blvd. In eager anticipation, we approached the lair of Tonto and his Cabbage Patch lady friend. Unfortunately, the hideout was empty. Our kind attempt at generousity had fallen short.
Brother Christopher Thatch, November 23, 1999
Re this morning's sighting, Mr. Sackett forgot to mention that Tonto gave
us the thumbs up. I think he's down w/TACPALS, as is his wife, judging
from the big cheesy grin on her face as we motored by. So are we
gonna' leave them some Thanksgiving leftovers or what? We've got to
look out for our leader, you know. He's one important Indian.
Brother Geoff Sackett, November 23, 1999
Tonto was wearing a khaki skirt, hose on his legs, and a hooded black
sweatshirt, slightly soiled. CPL was wearing a homeless shelter blanket.
She was smoking.
Idea: why don't we ride the bus with them in the morning, nonchalantly,
like we were riding it for real. See where they're going.
Brother Christopher Thatch, November 22, 1999
Good call. I'm not tryin' to get scalped. Maybe we could give them some
of our turkey leftovers . . .
Brother Christopher Himes, November 19, 1999
We could start by leaving stuff for them like hats and see if they're
wearing them the next day. We should hold off on the personal meeting
until we know the indian is friendly...like the pilgrims did--to avoid
getting scalped.
Brother Christopher Thatch, November 18, 1999
Way to be, Himes. A peace offering sounds good. When should we
hook them up? You know, they represent at the Macarthur bus stop in
the evenings, too, around 8:00-8:15. I just saw them. Word is bond.
Brother Geoffrey Sackett, November 18, 1999
I wholeheartedly agree with brother Himes. A peace offering would be most
appropriate. Perhaps some turkey carvings, a comb, and eye shadow?
Brother Christopher Himes, November 18, 1999
I too have felt the conflicting emotions when passing these two blessed
life travelers. Me thinks we should give Tonto a peace offering in the
spirit of Thanksgiving. We should possibly include the writings from our
webpage possibly. Any suggestions? Maybe some colored beads too.
Brother Christopher Thatch, November 18, 1999
Friends, we've made contact . . .
This morning, at approximately 7:47 AM, Mr. Sackett and I had yetanother Tonto sighting. Same place; he and his wife, the Cabbage Patch woman, chilling (literally) at the Metrobus stop on Macarthur Blvd. W/out a camera, however, we had no expectations. The excitement that drove us to circle around multiple times for a Tonto photo-op just two weeks ago was gone. We were at a loss as to what to do. "How can we make this a special Tonto morning?" Geoff asked w/heavy heart (well,not really, but the quote makes the story so much better, kind of like thatnew Ronald Reagan memior situation . . . ). Then it hit us. Tonto and his wife just want to feel special. They're sitting at the bus stop, freezing their homeless asses off, thinking, "Where's the love?" or, "You gonna'eat that apple core?", maybe, "Can I get the crusts off your sandwich?" Seeing as Geoff and I had already thrown our banana peels out the car window and had little in the way of food to offer the couple, we decided that a hearty hello might suffice as morning sustenance. So I rolled down the passenger side window, waved and yelled, "GOOD MORNING, HOW YOU GUYS DOIN'?" Pretty risky, but hey, that's what TACPALS is all about, right? Well, Tonto represented, to the fullest. Homey looked at us real chill, flashed a coy smile and broke out the peace sign. No joke. He was on. Maroon red fingernail polish and all. It was quite an experience. We were so taken aback by his attempt at communication that we didn't notice what they were wearing. The Cabbage Patch lady was silent; I suppose the "HIIIEEEEEEEEE" from a couple weeks ago took a lot out of her. But Tonto came through, for real. I believe he truly wants to befriend us, boys. He and his wife are longing for something, and I think that something is TACPALS. Continue the quest, full speed ahead. That is all . . .
 November 12, 1999 |
Brother Geoffrey Sackett, November 10, 1999
It must have been an annointed morning.
Thatch and I, too, had a Tonto sighting. Same place as Slug's and Himes' trembling hands, we drove by that ol' bus stop determined to capture Tonto and Cabbage Patch Lady for all of posterity. But there was a problem. The passenger side window wouldn't go down. If we take a picture, will there be a reflection? Will Tonto's image be tarnished? What were we to do?
We turned around in the parking lot of the strange, private school on the corner across the way from the reservoir. This time, we were prepared. Thatch was in the back seat. The window was down. Part way, at least -- it's a child safety one. Anyway, we considered camoflauging Thatch with clothes on my back seat needing to be dry cleaned, but we ruled that out as a needless precaution. Would Tonto try to spear Chris? Would he be amazed by the White Man's funny toy? Our fate was to be decided in just a few
minutes.
We drove by, slowly, cautiously, nervously. At the approach, Thatch -- with shaking hands -- raised the camera to his eye.
"Hi!" she enthusiastically let out. The Cabbage Patch Lady talked! She acknowledged the White Man's toy. We were in business. Sort of. We'll find out soon if the picture comes out.
Brothers, we have been blessed. Thousands will surely come to the new
mecca. Let not a moment go by without giving thanks.
Himes, welcome to Tonto's new world order.
Brother Christopher Thatch, November 10, 1999
Rocket and I saw Tonto this morning, as well.
 November 10, 1999 |
My hands were shaking, I was so scared. When we finally pulled up to the bus stop, Sackett started to freak out and sped up a little bit, and I couldn't focus because I thought Tonto might pull out his bow and arrow and put a cap in my ass. We got a picture, but it was pretty bad. My view was obstructed by a trash can, and Tonto's wife threw me off when she yelled out, "H I I I E E E E." I guess she enjoyed the attention.
No speech from Tonto himself, unfortunately. Slug, you need to represent w/your good camera if we're gonna' make a shirt. Himes, welcome to the club. And to Trashburton, mad props to Tonto, our homeless Indian hero.
Brother Christopher Himes, November 10, 1999
Tonto's hair was very Uma Thurman ala Pulp Fiction I thought. Was it a wig? Me thinks yes.
Brother Ben Sullivan, November 10, 1999
BTW. Huge Tonto sighting this morning. He was in the bus stop on MacArthur Blvd. again. This marks Himes' first sighting. He is now in the club. Tonto was reprasenting with his wife (who now has thick, curly, black hair). He was wearing a little miniskirt and a parking attendant type jacket - blue with red patches on it. His hair was the usual bowl cut - looks like a wig, fellas. I think he was wearing leggings too. What a wonderful man. I was pissed, because I was thinking about bringing my camera to work today, but I left it home. Another chance to catch the elusive Tonto... gone.
Brother Christopher Thatch, November 4, 1999
Howdy boyz. You'll be happy to know that I spotted Tonto again. Same place, different time. It seems they hang out quite a bit on Macarthur Blvd. I saw them at approx. 8:30 PM. They looked pretty cold. Tonto was snoozing while his wife kept watch. Keep your eyes peeled at all times, and keep a camera handy. If we get enough pictures we just might be able to convince Slug to create a Tonto website . . . and wouldn't that be the shizznit. Check ya'll.